Are you interested in angels, demons, spirits, ghosts, monsters? Are you curious about their origins, tales, and influence upon history and on the present day? If so, sit back, relax, and welcome to Southern Demonology, the podcast that explores all of this and more.
Hello all. Welcome back to another episode of Southern Demonology. As always, I'm your host, J.J. You know, I've never been the type of person who has been taken in by celebrities or those who have accumulated some sort of fame. In fact, the only celebrity I've ever met was a guy who was the waiter at a high-end Japanese restaurant in Los Angeles who looked really familiar to me. And after a couple of cups of sake, I finally worked up the courage and asked, Where do I know you from?
And with a smile that said louder than any combinations of words ever could, he said patiently, I played the Shermanator in the American Pie films. And for the rest of the night, I was amazed by my own stupidity. Well, nowadays we have the internet famous amongst us. And normally I could care less. I mean if you, through luck or talent, have accumulated such, then I'm happy for you. But that doesn't mean I'm going to try to get you to acknowledge my existence in some way, shape, or form.
I have too many things going on in my life with work, family, and the podcast to do anything beyond veg out or play the occasional game when not doing something involving one of the above. Yet there is an exception to that rule. When I started delving into TikTok, I ran across a creator named Hospice Nurse Julie, who educated about the death and dying process and actually normalized it. And I knew that I would love to interview her for the podcast. Not because she has grown a platform, but because of the knowledge and compassion that she shared.
On the other hand, I also knew that someone who had well over a million followers across the various platforms she was on wouldn't have a reason to give me the time of day. And yet I, for some reason, persisted. I found her on Instagram, and with more trepidation than I care to admit, I sent her a message. And by God, she agreed. And so today I am more than happy to present my interview with hospice nurse Julie. We even cover some of the paranormal experiences she's had at the end of our conversation.
Normally, I do try to keep my episodes to 30 minutes in length, but this conversation was just so good that I couldn't bear to split it up into two parts. So sit back, relax, and enjoy my conversation with Hospice Nurse Julie. Hello all. She has been more than gracious to actually agree to speak to me, which has just tickled my heart to death. But today I bring you an interview with none other than Hospice Nurse Julie. If you look across her various social media platforms, she has risen like a phoenix in numbers.
As of at least this morning, 966,000 followers on TikTok, 111,000 followers on YouTube, 149,000 followers on Instagram, and that's not even counting anything else that she has going on. And I'm just going to explain this from my own personal point of view, and then I'll ask you to elaborate and get anything that I got wrong correct. But she's a hospice nurse and she goes through and has really normalized that phase of an individual's life. The moment I saw her content, I knew I had to talk to her. Not for her numbers. I don't care if she had three people, I would still want to talk to her.
But it's just the way the compassion and the knowledge that she brings to bear impressed me from the very first video and has only that has only continued to grow as I have watched her stuff. Julie, how are you doing today?
So much better now. Man, what an introduction. You're making a girl blush over here.
No, the fact that you've even agreed to talk to me has just tickled my heart to death. So thank you so much for being here, my friend.
Of course.
I have to ask you, how long have you been posting videos on this topic?
So it's been about a year and a half. I haven't really figured that out, but I about a year and a half. It was a year in May. So whatever that is. And now it's September. So about a year and a half, right? Yeah.
Yep. That makes sense to me.
Yeah.
Fantastic. And what inspired you to start posting videos online about hospice care?
Man, okay, so I know everyone says stuff like this, but when I say it, I really mean it. It was very, it felt very random and a I mean, I guess a little serendipitous because it kind of like, like you said, kind of took off without me really knowing what I was doing. I had a few friends a year and a half ago whose parents were on hospice and dying. And I was talking to them just like I would talk to anybody else or any one of my patients' families and telling them the things I know and, you know, just kind of helping them go through the whole thing.
And their reactions to the things I was telling them kind of surprised me. I just forget that not everyone is around death like I am. And I forget that not everyone fully understands the death and dying process. You know, it's hard, you can take for granted the stuff you know sometimes. So that got me thinking, like, man, actually, they started being like, man, everyone needs to know this. I wish I would have known this before, you know, before this was all happening. And that got me thinking, well, maybe I'll do a podcast like what you're doing. And then I realized how hard that is.
And it just, I didn't know if I wanted to really put the time and effort into editing and like learning how to do it. And so I was I was on the fence. And then I went home. I saw my nieces, they're 11 and 12, and they were on TikTok. And I got on TikTok kind of just following them and being funny and doing dances with them and thinking it was pretty silly. And then I really started finding other people who are educating on TikTok. And I thought, you know what? I'm just gonna try this.
I'm just gonna do like a few videos of the main things I want people to know, like the main misconceptions, the main like things that I find so fascinating. I'm gonna do a few videos, and I'm just gonna put them up on TikTok, and that's it, you know. I would say like four days later, a video went viral and then it just went from there. And I've just been kind of trying to stay in the flow of that since. And it's been really cool to see how it's all unfolding.
That is pretty amazing. I I do have to admit, I stayed away from TikTok for the longest time just because I too had just the impression of oh, it's dances or people bearing as much skin as possible to get views, etc. And it wasn't until I really kind of dove deep and I saw how many people were now focusing content around education and teaching people, and it really kind of opened my eyes. I've seen, you know, other people like Hank Green go on about how TikTok has, you know, kind of laser focused some creators into being a lot more educational, and I I found that to be true.
So I I am so happy that I found you.
I know it's funny, right? I had the same opinion about TikTok. And it's pr it's pretty fascinating. I've I have so many creators on there that I love. That I love. So it's been great.
That's very true. Now, I have been watching a few of your most recent videos, and it seems like you have actually shown real life experiences that the platform has kind of taken off like 17 minutes after the fact. Do you continue to still have issues with that? Or how are you trying to get around that?
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you brought that up. Yes. So this is a new, a new series that I was really scared to do because I feel like it hasn't, I don't know if I would say it hasn't ever been done, right? But definitely not on TikTok, I don't think. Where a lot of my followers, of course, I love, I love my followers, people who are willing to listen to me. I got this group together, we got these videos going of their loved ones who were in the actively dying phase.
I had them sign like media release forms and try to make it as like solidified as possible and legal and everything, you know, all my ducks in a row to show real life examples of what I'm educating about all the time. And I I was really afraid because I knew I'd probably catch some heat because not everyone is ready for this, right? But for the most part, I've gotten such amazing responses from people who have been able to see it. And, you know, unfortunately, this is where we are in our society where like, even though it's that death is literally the most normal part.
I mean, it's just so such a normal part of life. We're all going to do it, but it's so taboo in our society that posting real images of that, social media is not really ready for it, it seems. I will say, so TikTok didn't take it down. So those videos, I'm still gonna keep doing it, I'm still gonna keep that series. I still have many more videos to go. Of course, I'll always give big trigger warnings before actually showing the video, so everyone knows to kind of prepare themselves. But what I'll what TikTok does do is it doesn't allow it to go out to the masses, right?
So, like TikTok has an algorithm where if people, if it notices that people are liking a video, it'll start sending it out, you know, to the masses of people around the world.
Right.
But if it's too sensitive, they think, then they'll they'll block that. So it's still they're still on my page, but they are blocked to be spread out among among the world, right? So kind of only my followers can see them if they go to my page and choose to watch, if that makes sense, right? So it feels a little censor censored because the the more people see it, the the better. And you know, the first video I posted, it did they didn't censor it right away, so they uh let it go for about an hour, and within that first hour, a hundred thousand people saw it, which is pretty big.
So to s for that to happen. So I knew, oh, this is something people want to see, you know. I I was I was surprised, I was afraid people wouldn't want to people wouldn't be ready to see it. But then TikTok was like, nope, and they cut it off. And now it's only gotten a few of a few more thousand people who've seen it, just because they've kind of cut it off. But uh it's still up there. I'm still gonna keep doing it, I'm gonna fight a good fight and just keep and just keep posting it. Cause I think it's important. I think we need to change that.
It does yes, it's sensitive, and I I know I'm going on and on, but yes, it's sensitive, but it's essential. It's so sensitive and scary because of the fact that our society doesn't allow us to see images like that because they I don't know why. I don't know why. I want to change that. I don't think it's right. I think we should see it, especially if the person's not suffering. And that that's the key is the videos almost look like they are, and I'm trying to tell people, no, this is not suffering. This is what death and dying looks like. This is normal, this is okay. We can be okay with this.
True, because honestly, if I have to think back in my head, the only other type of media that I can think of which has purported to show real end-of-life experiences. And it's not a comparison, so please don't get angry. Is faces of death movies that came out way back in the day. And of course, they're just meant to be gross and horrible. And and the fact that you're actually attempting to educate and show how normal it is, is that is what the true benefit is in that regard.
Because what I hear is, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but but what this is why I do it, is because most people who I hear from say, I saw my loved one, you know, my aunt or my grandma go through this or my mom go through this. It was horrific. They look like this and they described what it was like. And I think to myself, oh my gosh, that's a normal, that is a normal death. Quote unquote. You know, like that's all the things they witnessed were like normal parts of the shutting down process that they just don't know.
So if you don't know and you're not used to seeing it, you think your loved one is is suffering that whole time. And they're not, most likely. Of course, I'm not there, but in general, uh what they describe is like just a normal part of death and dying. Um, and if you don't know, you don't know what you don't know. So if you don't know what's normal, you don't know. So I I want people to know.
Yeah, I'm just sitting over here nodding my head right alone. You say that podcasting is hard, but I would say that going on video and opening up your life and actually allowing people to see not just you and all of your phases of whatever day you happen to be experiencing, that is difficult. Because I mean, A, I only have a face that radio could love. And my voice, it doesn't even like that. So I'm kind of screwed on both counts. But but yeah, I mean, it's uh yeah, I've thought about going on video and I just keep going, no, I'm a little too camera shy for that.
Yeah, I think I lucked out. I feel like I've kind of been not camera shy my whole life. So it's helped. It's helped join me.
What impact has this had on your life?
Um, you know, I still live a pretty my pretty I'm more busy. I'm more busy. How about that? I still, but I still, you know, I still do my job. I still have very good work life balance. I still have a lot of outside things that I do to keep me grounded and keep me well. So it's make it made me a little more busy. I think I take off a few more Mondays than usual. Mondays are a lot of like my work days. And the biggest thing I think is seeing that people are ready to hear this. You know, when I first started, I I really didn't know if people were gonna want to hear about this.
You know, it's it's I feel like a lot of people don't talk about it. I mean, my own family, God bless them. I love my mother and my father, but they were the the most critical, I think, kind of like who wants, you know, like they don't want to hear anything about this. So it wasn't like I was getting tons of positive feedback to do it. So I think that's the biggest thing.
How it's I don't know if it's changed my life, but it's but it's really been validating and really wonderful to see this community forming of people who do want to know and are willing to listen and are willing to share their stories and their experiences and other people who are working in this community coming together. And that's been really cool to see that people are ready. People do want to know. So it's been nice.
That is amazing. One of the things that you have spoken about in your videos is uh the sudden burst of energy that hospice patients can experience before the end. And this is honestly one of the things that uh I first saw and I feel really lucky about seeing that because my own uncle was in hospice care just last year and he passed away, but uh at the very end he suddenly seemed to be doing so much better. And he actually took his uh grandson out fishing, fell in the lake, and then quickly deteriorated afterwards.
And some people thought it could have been exposure to the lake water, other people thought it was just the normal progression of things. How long does that burst of energy typically last in your experience?
Great question. Yeah, the the it's called tur so the technical term for everyone who's listening is called terminal lucidity. But the two nicknames we call it's a rally or the surge. And it happens in about 30% of our patients, so one third of all of our patients will have something like this. And it usually lasts for a very brief time. That's that's the kicker, is like usually sometimes a few hours, sometimes a few days, but usually no more than a few days. If it's more than a few days, if it's two weeks, three weeks, that's probably not necessarily the surge or the rally.
That could just be the influx of how that person's disease is manifesting. But the rally is like someone seems very ill, you know, like they're getting close to death, and then suddenly, like you said, that burst of energy where it can be as big as getting up and going fishing and doing a a thing, you know, or it could be as big as just feeling hungry and kind of having their personality back and being a little sassy and just having a really, really good couple days, and then they usually die shortly after. So it's like a big, it's a big noticeable spike and then death soon after.
That is usually how the rally looks. Yeah.
Thank you for that. Yeah, that um that actually put my mind at ease a good bit after I saw that, and I actually shared that with a lot of people. Like if people that watch your content can come away with just one thing that they can learn, what would you hope that could be?
Oh my gosh. There are so many things. The one thing I think okay, how about this? There are so many things, but the one main thing would be it's okay to say that you're afraid of death. And it doesn't have to be like you don't have to be afraid of death. That doesn't have to be it. I mean that that too, but also like it's okay if you are. Let's start there. Just because we're afraid of it doesn't mean we can't talk about it. We can be afraid, we can say I'm afraid, we can say I don't want to, we can say I don't want to leave my kids.
All the hard things to say, and the you know, like let's start there. I want everyone to know that you can be afraid and still talk about it. Just just that alone will help decrease the fear I have found. So it's not about like never fearing death, it's about still talking about it, even though we're afraid. That seems to get us started in the right direction.
Gotcha. Yeah, that that makes total sense. How long have you been doing this as your career?
Uh I've been a nurse for 14 or 15 years. I really need to figure that out because everyone asks me, and I keep being like, I think 14 or 15. So something around there, 14 or 15. And um, I think about around nine of those years, I was in the hospital doing mostly ICU work. And then the last like six I've been in hospice and palliative care.
What drew you into actually doing just specifically hospice care?
Working in the ICU. So, you know, the ICU is a wonderful, amazing place. I I I learned so much there. And I also learned that I didn't want to work there anymore because it's um it's just one, it's really fast-paced, and it's I just you you see a lot of suffering there. People think hospice is depressing to me, and at least for me, an ICU setting is is can be very depressing.
And a lot of times you know these people are probably going to die, but people are just not ready to give up yet, or we're not ready to have that conversation yet, so we don't, and then they it just continues on sometimes for months. And that made me think, you know, I want to do this a different way. I want other, I want to witness death a different way. This can't be it. This can't be how uh we do this.
And I and I had a few doctors that were really good at speaking with the families and having family meetings to determine whether they should stay in the ICU or or maybe transition home to hospice. And that got me thinking, like, wow, I want to be really good at that. I want to be really good at having conversations like that because it is so important. And you would be surprised, or maybe you wouldn't be surprised, I don't know, about how little that is taught in healthcare and how little that's talked about, at least when I was there.
Once I got, once I became a little more confident in my nursing, I started realizing that I could make a big impact and I could have a voice in what happened to this person, you know. So I had a couple of patients where I finally spoke up at in, you know, during grand rounds and things and said, Hey, you know, what's the what's the plan for this person? You know, like when are we gonna have a family meeting to talk about end-of-life care? Because we all know that that's what this is, except no one's saying it. And all it took was one voice saying that.
And then everyone agreed, you know, I think people either just don't think to say it or they don't want to say it. I don't know. And that changed the course of that person's life. And yes, they did die, but they at least we at least we could be honest with the family and have the family choose, and they could have this experience that was hopefully peaceful and sacred to the family and honoring that patient. It's very long-winded. I'm sorry, but that but those experiences helped me be like, yeah, this is what I want to do. I want to transition into something more like this.
And hospice felt like the next move.
The thing that really comes across in your videos is the the personal responsibility that you undertake for your patients. It's almost like you hear the advocacy ringing true on all levels. And from your answer, it seems like that was you know, not only just the amount of time that I could imagine that you could devote to just one person, but also the ability to assist them throughout this entire experience. Is that correct? Am I hearing that right?
Yeah, definitely. Definitely patient advocacy for sure. Is um and you need time to be able to do that. And and also time felt a little constricted in the ICU. And don't yeah, so it was like you had to hurry up and care. And that's hard to do sometimes. You can't hurry up and do that. And I feel like hospice provides a space where there is a little more time, which is which feels great. And I feel like you can really help people that way.
On that front, I can only imagine that the bonds that you must develop with your patients and their families has to become very deep. And if that's true, and it sounds like it is, what kind of impact does that have on you psychologically?
For the most part, it's like one of the biggest blessings and honors is what it feels like. It feels sacred, it feels like profound moments in my life that I'll never forget. And uh it doesn't actually feel sad. Like every once in a while, it does feel sad. Every once in a while. But even when like times that are the hardest are when I feel like someone's suffering and we can't help them that that like at least not like right in that second, right? Like we might be able to help them eventually, but like in that moment, it's it the thing things are not being taken care of, right?
It's gonna take some time for for things to get to get moving and help this person. So that's when it's the hardest. Getting close to people and allowing them to have this peaceful death and educating them and supporting them and their families is not doesn't feel depressing, it doesn't feel hard. It feels like the greatest gift I ever could be given. So it affects me profoundly, but in a positive way. Where like I really like my job, I really I love my job, really. So it doesn't feel like these big massive losses. It really doesn't.
And now I do just just to be totally transparent, my job now. I I see patients and their families at the very, very beginning of this journey when they're going on hospice, and I edu I do a whole like educating piece, and I set up their house, and I ProFootball is back, and so are the predictions.
I meet them and talk to them and tell them what to expect and all this stuff. So I'm like the admission person, kind of getting everything set up. So I don't necessarily see them day in and day out until until they die. But that's still really profound. I love what I do now, even though I don't see them through through their whole journey. Now, prior to years before, I was a case manager and I did see patients all the way through to their death. And even then, it wasn't necessarily hard. It was like yeah, a blessing. It's the best word I could describe. It really feels like that.
I feel like honored. I feel lucky. I feel so lucky that I've had I've gotten to have these like profound experiences with families and patients during their death. It's been amazing.
That's beautiful. I'm not trying to hearken back to to other things, but you know, especially in Japan, and we focus a lot on that in this particular podcast, but there is this idea that death should be peaceful and that you should be able to flow in the moment, and that is what is ultimately going to allow you to let go of any earthly attachments, etc. And it seems like hospice care, if done absolutely right, is to just allow for that peace and without pain. Is that correct?
Yes, you couldn't have said it better. That's exactly correct. And guess what? Our bodies are like physically built to also help provide that. So the less we mess with the death and dying process, the better it usually goes. Or not the better it usually goes. The more uh, you know, it's it it is our bodies are built to like allow us to have a peaceful death if we're dying a natural death, meaning like no interventions to stop it, to stop death from happening. Diseases can get in the way of that, of course, but not every disease comes with crazy amounts of symptoms.
So the dying process itself can be peaceful without medication because our bodies are built to do it.
Gotcha. That that makes total sense. Another topic that you have brought up is visioning. And I've I have just been fascinated by this. If for those who are not familiar with the term, would you mind just explaining quickly what that is and some examples that you have encountered?
Yes. And when I first started TikTok, this was the number one thing I wanted people to know. Because I think it's like the most fascinating thing ever that I learned when I became a hospice nurse. So visioning is part of the death and dying process. Not always, but I mean, one of I mean almost always, I should say, where people, it's usually about a month to a few to like three to two weeks before death. People dying will start seeing dead relatives or dead friends, dead pets, angels, anything that feels comforting and supporting to them.
Sometimes, usually they know this, they know the people they're seeing. Every once in a while they don't. And they will see them. It's called visioning. They'll see them, they'll talk to them. Sometimes it'll be in a dream, but it's usually like lucid moments of like they see this person and they're talking to them. And that's visioning. And it happens so often that um I always try to educate the family and the patient about it so they know that when it's happening, they that it's okay, and especially if it's uh it's calming.
I mean, if it's not calming, that's probably something else, probably agitation or delirium or something going on. But if it's uh calming, go with it and know it's normal. And also know that that probably means your loved one will be dying within the next month or so, usually.
Not that I'm trying to bring up the negative by any stretch of the word, but have you seen patients who have encountered the exact opposite of uh peaceful visioning?
I have not. I have not seen that. So in general, there are, especially with certain diagnoses like dementia, Alzheimer's disease, sometimes Parkinson's disease, seeing things in is a part of that disease, right? Agitation and seeing things, paranoia, you know, the man's coming to get me, like that would not be associated with visioning. Those things are actually disease-specific and usually some kind of agitation or delirium. I've seen ICU psychosis, like all of the things that are associated with agitation is not visioning.
I have never seen someone have a have a quote unquote visioning episode where they are where they're seeing like demons or you know, fire or um something scary. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened. I just haven't seen it or heard of it from other people. We usually have something scary or like they start saying something like so-and-so's after me, or there's usually something else going on, and it's usually associated with their disease.
Gotcha. Well, that's good to know.
Yeah.
That's the last thing I would want for anybody I guess.
Same. Same, same, same.
Oh my gosh. Personally, and I I know this is just an opinion, but do you think these visions are a byproduct of the disease, or could be just a natural part of the end stages or caused by medicine? Or do you think that they could actually be seeing something that is there for them?
So, in general, factually, not not in a not in an opinion first, we don't think it is from a lot of people will say this. Oh, it's because of the lack of oxygen to their brain. Oh, it's because of medication, oh, it's because of um DMT. That's another one people always think. So, one, it's definitely not because of lack of oxygen to the brain, because these people are usually very lucid, alert-oriented, nothing wrong with their oxygen. Two, there's definitely some medications that can induce hallucinations.
Usually with visioning, these people are not on a lot of medications that technically induce hallucinations, just FYI. And then the DMT thing is a theoretical not proven, just for anyone who's listening. So we don't actually know if it's a release of DMT. We don't know that. A lot of people think that's like a proven fact. Now, what do I think it is? I know that I don't know. That's really what I believe. Like, I love it, and I do believe in an afterlife. I do believe that there's we're going someplace that's good and feels like home. That's what I personally believe.
And as far as the visionings go, I feel like that is a beautiful ad to it, you know. But I know enough to know that I have no idea. Like, I wouldn't be super sad if like science figured out that it's because of our, you know, if we actually figured out why, and there actually is a biological, physiological reason for it, that wouldn't make me upset. I still think that's really beautiful in a beautiful way of our body taking care of us. I also love that we don't know, and that it's comforting in general. So my belief is I don't know. I know I don't know.
There's so much we don't know out there, right? And I'm okay with that.
Amen to that one.
Yeah.
There is a video that I saw from you on YouTube in which it showed a lady who uh was smiling the most beautific smile I think I have ever seen while staring up at the ceiling. And that punched me in the gut so hard in a good way.
Yeah, yeah.
Just the fact that that exists. It doesn't matter what the what the end cause of that is, that just made the day brighter.
So and did you hear what she said when her daughter said, What are you looking at?
She said angels. It was amazing.
And if you keep watching that video, her daughter will be like, Really, how many? And she's so certain, four. There's four angels. It's just like crazy how it's it's uh yeah. And you see, as a hospice provider, you see that stuff literally countless. Like people always be like, Tell me some stories. It's actually hard to tell you stories because I see it so much, my brain doesn't even store the stories because it happens all the time, like literally all the time. It's just a thing. I'm like, uh-huh. Like, yeah, you can expect that. I almost feel like you can expect it.
You can almost expect it.
That's amazing. I have seen a few of your other videos in which you've had some experiences that could be classified as paranormal or unexplainable in nature. Could you describe a few of them for those? Because I I know a lot of people are interested in that, at least when it comes to you know, my particular podcast. So I'm not trying to reduce what you do only to that, and I apologize. I know I am I would be personally interested in hearing.
Oh, of course. No, I think a lot of people, yeah, I'm I'm happy to talk about it. So I feel like things have happened to me out of work and in work. So the the the main one that happened in work, like while I was working, was what I now know is called a shared death experience, which I didn't have the words for that before. I didn't know what it was, and it hasn't happened before and it hasn't happened since. And it was years ago. This patient of ours who we loved, we love all of our patients, right? But this one happened, this person happened to like not have much family.
He lived longer than we thought he was going to live. So we were with him a lot. And him and I had so many great like existential talks, and not everyone's willing to go there, you know. He was totally willing to talk about like what's gonna happen when he dies, what's it gonna be like, what does he believe? He doesn't know what he believes, you know, it was just amazing to have these like really in-depth conversations with someone who you knew was was really facing death. And anyway, so when he was actively dying, which is a few hours to a few days, I knew he was gonna die.
We had a continuous care nurse in the home with him, and I was just checking in on him every day, and I knew he was dying that day. So I was kind of quietly saying my goodbyes to him in my head while he was actively dying right there. And I went to go leave. I told a continuous care nurse, you know, text me when he dies, because I could tell it was going to be soon, and I had to go on to my next patient. And um, I went to my car, I was kind of thinking about him before I pulled away. I was kind of thinking about him again and just hoping that he had this beautiful, peaceful death.
And I was really happy that to have met him and you know, all the things. And suddenly I could hear his voice in my head. And yeah, it's almost like I was transformed for like 30 seconds. Like suddenly, this like thing came over me. I could hear his voice in my head, I could feel what he was feeling, or he was giving me feelings of like flying or freedom, exuberance, like these most overwhelming, amazing feelings. It's like my world shifted completely.
Where like where it was just this feeling of like joy and peace and exuberance and freedom and soaring, so much so that it was like instant tears, you know, instantly weeping. And he was saying to me in my head, oh my gosh, Julie, oh my gosh, Julie, I can't believe this. I can't believe this. And he was like excited, and like I could almost get the feeling of him like smiling and like, if I only would have known, if I only would have known. And he didn't say anything after that. Like he didn't say if I only would have known how good it is or something.
He just said, if I only would have known, but I had the feeling of, if I only would have known how amazing this would be, you know, like I just had no idea how amazing this is. And that's all he kept saying. It was like an element of surprise and and surprise on his part. Like, wow, I can't believe this. And I was just in my car crying and feeling all of these things, and then it stopped. And I was like shell-shocked. You know, I just didn't know what just went down. I didn't understand what just happened. I was back in my car again and my phone, my phone beeped.
I had a text, and I looked at the text, and the nurse inside said, you know, so-and-so just died. And I was thinking, I I know that because I feel like he just showed me. He just showed me what it was like to die or what he was feeling anyway. And I didn't say that to her, of course, because I didn't even know what the heck I just experienced.
Right.
And I just sort of went about my day. It was like, wow, that was crazy. I did tell my best friend, I did call my best friend, being like, I need to tell you what just happened. I don't know what just happened right now, but that was crazy. Yeah, so that was like one of the most profound experiences that I've had while working.
And I've had several other, not not like that, but you know, several others where just seeing the death stare where someone like is staring up at the ceiling and smiling, and people who are reaching for their mom and saying, Mom, people who are saying, you know, people who grab me, they're totally lucid, and they're like, Julie, don't tell anybody because I don't want anyone to think I'm going crazy. But my parents came to me last night. I think they said they were coming for me, uh, you know, in a week or so.
And I just want you to know, you know, people who've said, I feel like I'm going crazy, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna Die next week because my parents just came and told me and they were gonna come get me and everything was gonna be okay. I mean, countless times of that, of people saying, So-and-so said they were coming, I feel okay about it, I'm happy, I can't wait to see them again. I had a woman basically tell her caregiver when she was going to die, and she did. She was perfectly not perfectly fine. She was on hospice and was going to die.
She wasn't showing signs of dying, you know, actively dying. She just made blueberry muffins with her caregiver and at night she told her.
I watched that video. Isn't that crazy?
Oh my gosh, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was she was like, Julie, last night, she like basically was giving me the, you know, just telling me goodbye and called her son in and said goodbye to her son. And I was kind of brushing her off, being like, What the heck are you talking about? You're fine. I'll see you in the morning, you know? And then she died. She was like, Nope, I'm tired. I'm going home. And she died. What? You know, just oh, and then I had, I just I was thinking, it was so funny.
When you asked me that question, I was like, I don't know any other paranormal story besides the one in the car where I heard this man's voice, but then all of these new ones are coming up. Because there was a a miracle one too that I really consider was a miracle, where this person was actively dying, and which is you don't come back from actively dying. Like you don't. That's your you know, your body's not oxygenating, like your body is fully shutting down.
And this woman who I saw, you know, she was cyanotic, which means like her lips were blue, her she was modeling, she was not coming back from this. She looked like she was gonna die like any minute, changes in breathing, her which means like her brain was not oxygenating, you know, all of these things that are physiologically going on that you can't really come back from.
And she woke up the next morning, was totally fine, was eating pancakes in the kitchen, ended up living for another three months, which doesn't sound long to like most people, but in hospice that's crazy to be actively dying and then live for another three months. I mean, that's unheard of. You don't physically be you can't physically do that. So to me it's a miracle. For sure. Okay, that's what I would consider a miracle right there.
I I could see why. Yeah, that I mean, honestly, it feels like a lifetime just in those three months.
I mean I know.
It was those are the ones that you said that you've experienced through work, but have there been any that you've experienced outside of work?
I mean, I think even as a little girl, I have always been in touch with something. I don't know what the heck it is, right? But like I feel like I can even remember as a little girl, like like feeling connected to something that's not there, right? And like knowing that like I come from a different place or like this isn't there's like another home. Like I've always kind of felt homesick for a place I don't remember, if that makes sense. And I have glimpses of that from time to time where I feel like time stands still and you're in this like realm of presence, I guess.
And it's hard to describe for me because it's more of a it's like a feeling, it's like a f just a knowingness of kind of all things, if that makes sense. Where I just know that like all is well and kind of like nothing matters, like nothing here matters. And that sounds kind of awful, right? That that wouldn't actually feel good, but it does. It feels like, oh yeah, like this is uh everything is fine, nothing actually matters. All that matters is being here in the moment and presence, and this is the only thing that matters in life, you know, like this, whatever this is, the moment.
So just throughout my life, having multiple experiences of that, which I think has helped me in my career as a hospice nurse to be able to like hold presence in a room that people want, you know, people are are feeling all types of ways, and to just be comfortable in that setting. I've also had, you know, I have had like uh I'm really into meditating and I've had like experiences with ladybugs. I don't know. Did you hear that story? Oh my god, I have a lot of people. I have a crazy ladybug story, yeah, on the beach. That was do you want to hear it?
I feel like I'm talking a whole heck of a lot.
No, no, no, trust me. This is exactly why I wanted to talk to you. I love hearing about this. Yeah, please, please elaborate.
Well, so a while back, I had uh like probably 10 years. Wow, that's a long time. But uh like 10 years ago, I was going through a really hard time, really big, a really big breakup. You know how it goes, how you have those times in your life where you're just kind of like rebuilding your life. And I was really into meditation at the time, probably meditating like an hour a day. And I don't do that now, by the way. I I would love to get back to it, but anyway, but I was like meditating all the time. And a friend of mine suggested I do this like meet your higher self meditation.
And by this time, I had already had a meditation practice. So this meditation was like a 45-minute like guided meditation where you go meet your higher self. And the whole time I'm like already irritated by the meditation. So just so everyone knows, like I wasn't even into the meditation. I was like kind of irritated by it. I thought it was cheesy. I was like, okay, yeah, I'm meeting my higher self, whatever. And like the silly questions they wanted me to ask, I thought were so silly. I was like, why does it matter what my spirit bug, like literal spirit insect?
I'd be like, spirit, so I was supposed to ask myself, what's what's what's my spirit insect? And my higher self told me ladybug. And like, even as I was doing this, I was thinking, like, that was not my higher self, that was my my own brain saying ladybug. That's the only friggin' insect I can think of right now. So I didn't even, I didn't I finished the I finished it all up and I was kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fine, but I'll just go back to my old meditation practice, I think.
And at the end of the meditation, they did say, now don't forget to go talk to your higher self tomorrow too. Keep this up, you know, talk to your higher self, yada yada yada. So the next day I was on the beach and I was meditating my own way, how I normally do it, and I kind of laughed at myself because I was med, I was still in my head, like listening to my thoughts. And one of my thoughts was, oh yeah, you were supposed to meet your higher self again today. And I kind of like scoffed at it.
And as I was doing that, I could feel I got creeped out because I could feel things like crawling on me, and I could feel things like hitting me in the face, and I was like, oh, what's going on? And I looked down and I kid you not, I have pictures to prove it. I have ladybugs, multiple ladybugs, crawling on me and hitting me in the face, flying into me in my hair, legs, arms, shirt. And I was like, wow, why are there ladybugs all over me on the beach? First off, nothing's around. It was just incredible.
So I took a bunch of pictures, I like wrote into the lady who does the higher self-meditation thing, telling her the whole story. And ever since then, I just love ladybugs, obviously.
That is amazing.
Right? It's like, wow. I know, I know. I was like, wow, okay, well, I guess ladybugs are my insect.
So I I guess my last question for you is your experiences dealing with patients and being so embedded in in hospice care, do you feel like that has had a positive effect on your spirituality?
Yeah, yeah, I think it I mean, I think in general it's helped me be really confident in like the life I live and confident that the body takes care of itself, confident that I'm going to be okay no matter what. Like death doesn't I think death can feel so scary to people and just because I'm around it so much and I see how how this world, like the biology of this world, has really been built to kind of take to take care of us, and I don't think that's a mistake. So there's something comforting to me in that. So I I just can I feel like I can live a fuller life because I understand that.
And hospice and watching, you know, even as an ICU nurse, I didn't understand that. I did not understand that. But watching death over and over and over again, you think would be awful, but really it's like just helped me see how this world seems to have something built into it that like that just helps and is there and and has its own its own guide no matter what we do, no matter what we do. That there's still this like inner guide that's that's helping that's helping us do all things. That's what it feels like and seems like anyway.
True. Uh I I will say that from watching your content, it has it has instilled in me more of a peace around the idea of death. Because honestly, you know, most people just think of it as a great evil. I mean, it's a cessation of uh all of our worldly experiences, and that can only be a bad thing, right? But if you uh view it as more of a natural termination rather than something being ripped away from you, that you really help to explain that to some inner part of me that needed to know that. So thank you.
Thank you. You said that perfect. I like how you I like how you worded that. That was great. Some instead of things being ripped out, right? Like acceptance. But I think in order to get to acceptance, you have to talk about it, and that's where we lack. That's why I want to get the conversation going. Even if it is like the even if the conversation is I don't want to talk about it. Like my mom. It's still it will like, okay, well, that's getting somewhere. Um, we know you don't want to talk about it.
Let's but I that's because you don't have to get to a total place of acceptance from what I've seen, just FYI. Anyone who's listening, there are people who don't necessarily who still are like, I don't want to freaking. I'm sorry, I keep saying freaking. I have no idea if I'm allowed to say that or not.
Oh, of course you are. There is no boundaries upon what you can or cannot say.
So I just think getting the conversation started is is helpful enough. It's it's not even like you have to get to this zen place of total acceptance, right? Like most people don't, including myself. I'm gonna go through vacillating feelings of acceptance and fear and sadness and and uh all of it's normal and good, and we just need to kind of talk about it.
I cannot thank you enough for elaborating upon everything of being so warm and personable. Uh this has been uh probably you know one of the best conversations I've had, and I I thoroughly appreciate that. Uh you can always go to our website, southerndemonology.com. I will have links to uh all of Hospice Nurse Julie's information there. Uh so you can find her on all the various social media platforms, and I highly recommend it.
Uh I think that you will walk away not just knowing more, uh, but hopefully you had the same type of experience that I did, that uh it brings you a sense of peace and wonder and beauty that this life and that end of life can bring. So uh thank you for everything that you've done. Because I I really think that you've added not just to the human conversation that goes on, but you've shown us all something quite miraculous.
Gosh, thank you so much. Thanks for having me and being willing to talk about it. I appreciate it.
Thank you for listening to Southern Demonology. Find us online at Southern Demonology.com where you can find all of our social and podcasting links. Also, if you have a moment, please feel free to rate this podcast and leave any encouraging feedbacks that you may have. As always, I am JJ and it has been a pleasure getting to talk to you today.